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Interview with Darlene Cioffi-Pangilla (November 2009)
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Can you tell us about your journey in becoming a Buddhist and how you found your way to Buddha Gate? I was attending a non-denominational church that was exploring Eastern philosophy as well as teachings from the Desert Fathers and the Christian tradition. We used contemplative prayer methods, as well as eclectic types of meditation. A friend introduced me to Berkeley Zen Center, and what I found there was “zazen” (literally, “seated meditation”). This seemed to me to be the bottom line of what I was working toward through the prayer and meditation methods that I described earlier. Zazen, coupled with the atmosphere at Berkeley Zen Center, created a “lay monastic” experience that I had not found as easily attainable in the Christian context. Berkeley Zen Center gave me a place to practice – I went there for 18 years. I actually met my husband George there. We attended many multi-day retreats there. There was also a period of a couple of years during which we went to both Berkeley Zen Center and Berkeley Buddhist Institute. During this time I also studied with a Trappist priest, Fr. Thomas Keating, who taught a contemplative prayer method called “Centering Prayer,” the bottom line of which is the same as “the Middle Way.” I am actually certified by Contemplative Outreach to teach Centering Prayer. Fr. Keating fashioned the method of instruction based on Zen meditation practice – sitting and walking, sitting and walking. He was on the forefront of East/West dialogue back in the early 1980’s. George and I first came to Buddha Gate in 2001, about 6 months after the monastery opened. We saw a newspaper article about it and decided to check it out, thinking it might be more convenient than the Berkeley Zen Center. Well, we came to Buddha Gate and fell in love with it. The Shifus were so welcoming – the hospitality was incredible. The curriculum is really wonderful: very consistent and progressive. The classes give you the foundation to build and deepen your practice. How has meditation been significant in your daily life? Meditation provides me with a buffer between me and what’s going on around me. It keeps me centered so external things don’t penetrate as easily. It is almost like a shield to know that protection comes internally - well, from something actually even deeper than that. What is the interplay between your background and training as a scientist and Buddhism? I do not believe that science and philosophy are necessarily opposites. In science everything is black and white. But life is not that way. Studying Buddhism and Christianity has given me a broader framework within which to consider things. You make a pilgrimage to Chung Tai Chan Monastery nearly every year. What is significant about this journey and why should we take it? Visiting Chung Tai Chan Monastery gives me a chance to connect with our parent monastery. This connection gives me a better understanding of where Buddha Gate and its curriculum came from. It is an opportunity to be immersed in the culture of our practice and to experience that from which our Shifus came. It also gives me a better understanding of the meaning underlying our rituals. On the subject of ritual, you are an active member of the acolyte team. The acolytes prepare for, and have specific duties during the ceremonies at Buddha Gate. What is the significance of being an acolyte for you? Being an acolyte is a way to serve and give back to Buddha Gate. We try to help things run smoothly during the ceremonies so that the assembly has a good experience. Being an acolyte has given me the opportunity to gain a better understanding of the reasons why things are done in a certain manner. I’ve developed a greater familiarity with our rituals and come to understand the importance of the ceremonies. So in a way, being an acolyte is also part of your own practice? Yes. It is an opportunity for me to practice being mindful and flexible. And it is also an opportunity to give of myself. As acolytes we are not able to fully participate in the ceremonies, since we are in the background, but I am willing to forgo that in service to the other members of the assembly. It is also very meaningful for me, as an acolyte, when we assist in ceremonies related to family matters. You have also served Buddha Gate by being the coordinator for the English-language Beginning Meditation Class since 2003. What advice do you give to the beginning students? My advice to the beginning students is to stick with it and give it a chance. And I’m not only referring to the meditation and classes, but also everything that Buddha Gate has to offer. I encourage them to bathe in the atmosphere, as it has the potential to be life-transforming. How has Buddhism been transformative in your life? I’ve learned about lessening the ego, which in turn leads one to realize that happiness does not come from external things like money or position. Rather, happiness is beyond all of that. Meditation (as well as contemplative prayer) helps us to tap into what Buddhists call “the Buddha Mind” and “emptiness,” It helps us to see where suffering comes from, and to realize that we can do something about it if we choose. We don’t always realize that we have a choice. What lessons in Buddhism stand out for you? Through meditation and the study of Buddhism, compassion comes to the forefront. Buddhism has given me tools and teachings that lead me to greater acceptance of circumstances – such as difficult life events, whether personal or in the world. Buddhism has taught me to accept adversity, rather than to fight it. What keeps you returning to Buddha Gate? When I go through those gates, there is a change. There is a calming and an acceptance. Not only does the physical setting lend itself to stillness and peacefulness; but through the class instruction and the example of the Shifus I feel that my true nature is affirmed. Buddha Gate supports me and affirms me.
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