There have been many times I felt angry.  Angry, angry, angry.  So angry that I couldn’t sleep.  Because of my anger, I have been lashing out at my wife, family members, friends and co-workers for insignificant and unrelated reasons.  Over the past three years I have thought about how to find a resolution.  Seeing how angry I was before, I thought it would be appropriate to share my secrets on how to deal with anger. One day my father asked me why I don’t give Buddhism a chance to resolve my anger. He suggested that I probably should go to Buddha Gate Monastery to seek help.  “Are you willing to try it?" "Oh yes, Father, I would do anything for my family to control my anger.”   I started to take classes and learn Buddhist practice with the Abbess and all the Dharma Masters. What I have learned at Buddha Gate Monastery is that although the Buddha nature is present within us, we are not yet Buddhas.  One of the reasons we are not yet Buddhas is because we may still be victims of ego-delusion. According to the Abbess, our minds are continually dominated by a seemingly endless train of egocentric thoughts - thoughts of greed, attachment, anger, pride, envy and passion.  It is only by careful analysis of the functioning’s of our minds that we can discover the negative factors which hinder enlightenment and the positive factors which are conducive to enlightenment.   In my Advanced Meditation class, the Abbess gave the students an assignment:  “I would like you to sit down for one hour a day, let your mind flow and write down every idea that comes into your mind-every plan, every desire, every memory.  The only thing I ask is that you do this honestly, with complete candor. Then turn it in to me next week.  Do you promise to do this?  If you don’t do it, still come to the class.” One night I sat down at my desk and began to write.  I wrote with complete honesty, not holding anything back.  One moment a thought came into my mind.  Then I wrote it down.  The next moment another thought came into my mind.  Then I wrote it down.  I wrote down all my hopes and dreams and fantasies, all my desires and regrets and fears and memories.  Thus I continued one hour each night for three nights.  Then, on the third night, as I lay on my bed, my curiosity began to grow.  I started to wonder what I had written in the past few days.  My curiosity grew stronger and stronger until I could not sleep.  I jumped up and began to read.  As I read through my paper, a burning sense of shame overwhelmed me.  I felt the pain that gnawed at my heart pouring through the pages I had written.  I thought of my family and of their love for me, and all this provoked a disgust for my inward state of being, the state which I had candidly revealed in the pages of my homework.  Too ashamed to show my paper to anyone, and especially the Abbess, I threw it away.  There are some thoughts and feelings I have that are just too private and of which I am too ashamed.  Now I am aware that there is a great deal of imperfection in myself.  I see that it is necessary to practice Buddhism to purify myself.  I keep going back to Buddha Gate Monastery and listening to the Dharma talks. My story clearly shows me the necessity to practice meditation and cultivate the Middle Way.  Within the privacy of my mind pass many thoughts that I would not reveal even to my closest friends and dearest loved ones; my mind is filled with dark tracks and shadows.  I realize the only solution is to pursue the evil thoughts to their roots in the mind and extricate them; then my mind will become pure and clear.  The first step in this process is to become aware of my faults.  If I am blind to my faults, no self-cultivation can take place at all, for my passions, hatreds and delusions are the material upon which self cultivation works.  The Abbess skillfully led me into taking this step of recognition by always asking myself to reflect with complete candor all my thoughts and feelings. According to the Abbess, our mind is just like a room.  If we burn incense in the room, it will become fragrant, but if we allow garbage to fester in it, it will become putrid.  In the same way, our mind has two sides to it, the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, the pure and the impure, and we are free to develop it in either of these two directions.  To practice Buddhism is to work at eliminating the bad and increasing the good.  When we accomplish this, when we become thoroughly pure and good, then we will be Buddhas, Enlightened Ones endowed with wisdom and compassion. Another great teaching I have learned from the Abbess and all the Dharma Masters is that before I criticize other people for their mistakes, I should learn to examine my own first.  Before I pass judgment on another person, I should look at myself and ask whether I am perfect.  As the Buddha says: "Let no one seek others' faults, things left done and undone by others, but one's own deeds done and undone.”  If I am not yet perfect, why should I expect others to be more perfect than I am.  The other man is human, and so, being human, he is liable to commit mistakes.  If I reflect along these lines, it is easy to be tolerant towards other people when I am confronted by their errors, weaknesses and shortcomings. While I should be tolerant towards other, I should not be too tolerant towards myself.  When I become too tolerant towards myself, I tend to overlook my faults, and when I overlook my faults, I cannot purify myself or make any progress on the path.  I think that self-reflection enables us to discover both our positive and negative qualities so that we can cultivate the good thought and eliminate the bad one.  This way, little by little, I advance along the path of moral and spiritual perfection.  Each period I sit in meditation I create good thought, a pure and quiet mind; from that my actions, habits and character will be pure, and from that I will enjoy a happier and more meaningful life for myself and all the people around me.